A little more than a month ago, I was beginning intense studying for finals. It was a lot of hard work, and I started to notice little things that I could have done throughout the semester that would have made finals week easier on me. So before I had even taken finals, I was looking forward to starting this new semester and having a chance to implement all of my ideas.
When I got my grades at the beginning of January, I felt that same surge of motivation. I was so close to where I wanted to be, and I felt confident that with a little extra effort I could certainly reach my potential this semester.
Then I got back to Omaha.
It's not that I'm not happy to be back...I love my apartment and really enjoyed changing the decorating a bit when I got home in order to accommodate some of my Christmas and Birthday presents. Clearly I have friends in Omaha that I was happy to see again. Generally speaking, I enjoy Omaha. But for whatever reason, I completely lack motivation. It's the very beginning of the semester and I'm only giving my reading assignments a half-hearted effort, at best. I want to sleep all the time. (Seriously. All the time.) My sluggish attitude has worn off on Zipsie and we spend our nights one of two ways: sitting around the apartment doing nothing or napping.
In my head I know I need to care more. In my head I know I had a schedule that worked for me last semester. In my head I know that each day I'm falling further from attaining my goals for this semester. Yet my body refuses to respond to my head.
I do have a theory about all of this. Last semester was the first time in my life that I slept responsibly. I went to bed and woke up at the same time each day with very little variance. I'm hoping that if I can make myself get back on that schedule, I'll feel better and the motivation will follow. I just need the discipline to do that before I fall too far behind. Guess that means I should go to bed...