Friday, May 18, 2012

Oh K8er...

You know, sometimes I think if I had a roommate (other than Zipsie) things might be easier. I could pay half the rent and utilities. I could talk to humans after long days staring at books and computers. I could hang out with someone when my other friends go to stupid Missouri. But even with all those considerations, I'm just not up for it. I feel like it's better just living alone. Today I realized why.

It's because no matter who I might find to be my roommate, she would never be this girl:
I've missed Kate so much lately. I'm still heartbroken over not making it to her wedding. I miss our teamwork changing lightbulbs that neither of us were tall enough to reach. I miss her bug. I miss a refrigerator full of leftovers because Kate never went out to eat without bringing something home. I miss the girl that introduced me to Cafe Rio. I miss talking to someone who knew all about the musicals I choreographed. I miss Kate when I listen to He is We. I miss the girl that paid for TiVo for two years before finally setting it up just months before we moved out. I miss coming home from work to find random paintings in the living room. I miss Kate when I look at the Audrey Hepburn picture hanging in my apartment.

I was so happy today when I walked back to my computer at work and saw a gchat from Kate, telling me she'd updated her blog just for me. When she said just for me, I thought she meant because I always tell her to blog. But really, she mean just for me. I feel so loved :)

Now if only I could get that girl to tweet...

Thursday, May 17, 2012

52 Weeks

Yeah, 364 days. So much has changed, yet literally I'm in the exact same place.

"Thursday, May 19, 2011  7:12 pm
"Dad and I are in Omaha, just got settled in...I [...] launched Pandora. It was on my country station and the first song that came on was Billy Ray's Ready, Set, Don't Go. :( I was trying not to get teary-eyed, but I can't promise that I'll be able to keep my emotions in check all weekend.
"So far my impressions of Omaha are that it's flat. But very green, which is pretty. What we saw of downtown was a little disappointing, not much of a city feel. But who knows? Maybe we're just not in the right area.
"We saw the Creighton medical center as we drove, but we haven't seen the actual campus yet. I hope I love it."
"10:05 pm
"I guess I was kind of hoping or maybe even expecting to land in Omaha and have it feel like home. It didn't. It still doesn't, after driving "downtown" and finding the law school. Maybe things will change when I go inside the law school or start looking at apartments and picturing myself living here. Or maybe not. Maybe Salt Lake will just always be my home."

(The next day was Accepted Students Day...)

"Friday, May 20, 2011  10:17pm
"...We took a break before our mock law school class. The professor came in, a tall, skinny guy with glasses, and Dad asked what the chances were that he was from Utah, because Dad recognized him. I told Dad that I knew at least a few faculty members had ties to Utah. So anyway, we sat for a mock Torts class, which was interesting enough, and then split into our groups for tours...
"...after we were finished with our tour, we went to lunch. We were seated at the table with the Torts professor from earlier in the day, who we found out is named Craig Dallon. Dad sat next to him and immediately said he looked familiar. Well, turns out Professor Dallon graduated from BYU the year after Dad. Small world! Professor Dallon said the same thing to Dad that basically as soon as he came into the class he knew he knew Dad. Professor Dallon also happens to be the Bishop of the Winter Quarters singles ward here. You've gotta love how the Church provides you with instant connections no matter where you are..."
Yesterday I picked up my friend from the airport and we lamented over the fact that Salt Lake feels less like home every time we go back. But it's not necessarily that Omaha has taken it's place. We're just kind of homeless.

Today, a year after first landing in Omaha, I started my first job as a law clerk here. A job I only have because I voluntarily turned down a position in Utah to spend the summer in Nebraska. I don't know that I can say I love Omaha. Saying so would feel like a betrayal of Salt Lake. But there are a few things I know.

A year ago I met Dean Dallon. Since that time, he has been my professor and my bishop. He now employs me in my second job as a research assistant. Some of my closest friends in Omaha are his son and his roommates. I spent Thanksgiving at the Dallons'. I spent Easter at the Dallons'. Even if I don't love Omaha, I love the Dallons.

A year ago I attended Accepted Students Day solely because Professor Mangrum called me and told me of a strong LDS influence at Creighton Law. Today, Professor Mangrum is my bishop and my professor. I have my job as a law clerk for the County Attorney because he got me an interview and didn't leave them alone until they offered me a job. Even if I don't love Omaha, I love Professor Mangrum.

A year ago I nervously walked into Accepted Students Day with my dad, not knowing another soul. At our table for breakfast we were soon joined by other prospective students. I noticed one of them had a scar on her neck. Today I know the story behind that scar as well as the incredible person who bears it. Just minutes ago I was texting her, trying to coordinate hanging out tonight. Jen and I are determined to not let Kate's absence this summer limit our own social time no matter how much we miss her. Even if I don't love Omaha, I love the friends I've made here.

A year ago my dad asked the 2L giving us our tour about law review and the write-on process. Tomorrow I will give a tour to a group of incoming 1Ls as a proud general staff member of Creighton Law Review, member of the Creighton Negotiations team, secretary in the J. Reuben Clark Law Society and secretary in the Women's Law Student Association. Even if I don't love Omaha, I sincerely love Creighton and everything it has taught me in the last year. I can't wait to see what the next two bring.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Blessing in Disguise

There's no denying that finals aren't fun. This would be a pointless post if all I did was tell you that the last week and a half has been hard, and I still have three days ahead of me before it's over. But really, when you think about it, finals aren't all that bad. If nothing else, when you leave each one you feel a sense of accomplishment. You seldom (never) leave feeling fantastic about how you performed, but you do leave thinking, "I'm one class closer to being an attorney."

Plus, working hard and studying all day leaves little room for distracting thoughts about missing new nieces being born, summer plans falling by the wayside, more time spent away from home than you'd thought just a few weeks ago, insecurity from jobs not working out, general homesickness and new worries and responsibilities on the horizon.

The Lord never gives you more than you can handle. We all know that. But sometimes I think the Lord gives you close to the most you can handle just to help you gain a little perspective. I'm grateful that the Lord knows me so well. I'm glad that he keeps me occupied so I can grow without fully realizing it. I'm grateful that he tells me, "No," sometimes.

I'm even more grateful for all the times he quietly says, "Yes."

For the first time in my life, I have no idea where I'll be a week from now. It's scary. But it's okay.