Jeez, do you ever feel like you've reverted back a few years and without meaning to you're suddenly acting and responding to situations the same you way you would have when you were much younger? I'm currently in that spot. I'm going to give you more details than I normally would just because I need to vent. And in my opinion, the elusive world known as blogging is a great place to do that.
Background information: When I was in high school, the Homecoming game was a big deal (as I'm sure it is most anywhere). Halftime was a huge production, with Dance Company, Drill Team, and Cheerleaders coordinating on a theme, learning a big group routine together, and putting together routines for each individual group. Practices would start at the end of summer, and it was always just really fun and awesome.
Well, now that I've been coaching for a couple of years, I really wanted to try and organize a similar show. I spoke with the coaches of the other organizations and planned things out, scheduling practices for this week (since Homecoming is Friday) for the big group piece. It remained undecided who was choreographing the group routine, but I really wanted to be a part o f it just because I had some fun ideas. With all the craziness of trying to get my cheerleaders ready, any attempt to nail down the group details was derailed so I was kind of developing the impression that the group routine wasn't going to happen.
However, I found out today that the group routine had been taken care of and additionally, it was choreographed to the song I had suggested and that I had had a lot of ideas for. I know I shouldn't care, but my feelings are just really hurt right now. Really all I should care about is that my desire for the group production is coming to fruition, but that's not how I'm feeling right now. I feel robbed of the chance to help bring my plan to action. But more than that, I feel like my idea was stolen from me in a way. I don't really know how to explain what I mean by that, but at least I've gotten it out of my system.
Okay, Wendy. Time to grow up and move on.
4 comments:
That really stinks.
I know exactly how you feel and I think your feelings are 100% validated. I'm pretty sure I'd feel this way even if I wasn't so close to the situation.
I totally see where you're coming from and you have a right to feel that way
Wendy,
We all feel this way at times. Don't be too hard on yourself. Often in life things happen that are just not fair, that are just not right. It is natural for us to feel upset, defensive, and frustrated. Sometimes it even makes us feel worthless. We cry ourselves to sleep because we feel used and rejected and we feel that we "obviously aren't that important" after all.
Please remember that this is Satan's lie. And while we all have these feelings and frustrations, there is One who knows and understands us perfectly. There is one who understands exactly how we feel, and why we feel that way. Because this One is a God, He has all power. He can do anything. Because He understands you perfectly, he can succor you in your time of need. (See Alma 7:11-12) One definition of succor is "to run to, to help." And I know God well enough to know that He will help you through this.
Well did the Psalmist say that "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." (Psalm 30:5) Wendy, I know that through the atonement of Christ you and I, and all who will, may feel validated again. We can overcome the bitterness that so easily fills our hearts, and replace it with charity. This grace, which comes from God, brings a sweetness to our hearts and helps us love those around us more, even those who may "despitefully use" us (see Matt 5:44).
One final thought, this time from Elder Holland. Said he:
"When you struggle, when you are rejected, when you are spit upon and cast out and made a hiss and a byword, you are standing with the best life this world has ever known, the only pure and perfect life ever lived. You have reason to stand tall and be grateful that the Living Son of the Living God knows all about your sorrows and afflictions. The only way to salvation is through Gethsemane and on to Calvary. The only way to eternity is through Him—the Way, the Truth, and the Life." (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Missionary Work and the Atonement,” Ensign, Mar 2001, 8
Wendy, I leave you my personal witness that there is a God in Heaven who knows your name, counts your tears, feels your pain, and wil answer your prayers. Don't feel bad that you feel this way, just turn to God and He can take your pain and turn it into joy. He can change your heart. This is real. I humbly testify that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is my Savior and Redeemer, and He is yours. I pray that He will bless you at this time, with the peace, comfort, and strength that you need. I know that He will. Walk tall Wendy, for regardless of how the world treats you, I know, and you know, that you are precious daughter of God, and He will not leave you comfortless.
Post a Comment