A Very Merry Christmas

I hope you all enjoyed a fulfilling and memorable Christmas. I must say this year was pretty incredible. I feel undeserving of all the love and generosity I received this Christmas. In addition to the many beloved traditions my family has this time of year, we tried some new activities as well. For instance, a couple weeks ago we did a baking night with my dad. He needed treats to take around to ward members, and his daughters (aside from me) are great in the baking department. So we all went out to Jen's and baked cookies. I basically made a mess with frosting all night, but we had a lot of fun.

Then Jenny planned a "Favorite Things" party, which all of the girls attended on Tuesday. The idea was to think of your favorite thing and buy or make one for each person. I was running low on cash and had to get creative, because I'm not a crafty person. Eventually it came to me--I love music and decided to make a cd of some of my favorite songs that my mom and sisters might not know. The cd consisted of the following songs (and if you haven't heard any of them, I encourage you to check them out)...

"Pulling a Piano from a Pond" by Cinematic Sunrise
"The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script
"Elephant In the Room" by Richard Walters
"Secret Life" by Thriving Ivory
"In Pieces" by Mae
"Sometime Around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event
"Viva La Vida" by Coldplay
"Rock Your Soul" by Elisa
"Defying Gravity" by Glee Cast
"It's Only Life" by Kate Voegele
"I Must Be Dreaming" by The Maine
"Take This to Heart" by Mayday Parade
"Ignorance" by Paramore
"Apology" by Safetysuit
"Crack the Shutters" by Snow Patrol
"Check Yes Juliet" by We the Kings
"A Melody, The Memory" by Mae (my spoils from the Favorite Things party)

Some of our favorite traditions take place on Christmas Eve. We all go out to dinner and then go back to my parents' house for our sibling gift exchange.

(Princess, Jessica, and me at dinner)

This year, my brother-in-law (who is a Utah grad) had me for Christmas. He was able to put aside his pride and get me something I'd really like:
We also got pajamas and ornaments from my parents, and then I spent Christmas Eve at Ashley and Nic's house. I woke up to a very generous surprise--Ashley and Nic had given me an entire Christmas, right there under their Christmas tree. I was overcome with gratitude at the thoughtfulness they showed. By 7am, I was sure I had had the best Christmas of my life.

And things got even better when we all drove over to my parents' house to talk to Matt on Skype, all the way from Mozambique.

(Elder Brown on the webcam)

We all went our different ways for the bulk of Christmas Day and then returned once again to our parents' to get gifts from my Mom and Dad that night. This was another surprise, since they had told us they weren't doing any gifts this year.

The best part of this Christmas was the large amount of time I was able to spend with my family. Last night we got together again to play some of the games we got for Christmas. I always say how glad I am that I have the family I do, but that happiness has been so securely reinforced recently. I don't know if everyone feels this way as they get older, but my siblings really are my best friends, and I honestly would rather spend time with them than with anyone else.

Being with them, having fun and laughing and simply drawing from their personalities, more successfully put me in the Christmas spirit than anything else that I tried. I played Christmas music on the radio, went shopping in the midst of the crowds, tried to be giving and kind, and decorated my apartment in the most festive decorations. But nothing worked until I sat back and focused on my gratitude for the family I've been given. That is when the power of the Christmas spirit finally touched my heart and paved the way for a very enjoyable and memorable Christmas.

I'm Ben

When I worked at Zions we hired a teller that had previously worked at Wells Fargo. Every day we'd hear some comment from him like, "At Wells Fargo we just swiped the debit card to pull up the account number," or, "At Wells Fargo it was so much busier than it is here," or, "At Wells Fargo blah blah blah blah blah." It became a joke among the rest of us (okay, really just between Jamie and me) that Ben didn't seem to realize he was no longer working at Wells Fargo; he was at Zions.

Today I realized I'm Ben. I constantly catch myself saying, "In Ogden..." I was getting irritated with myself, wondering why I couldn't just shut up about Ogden. But I think the real issue is the fact that I hate sounding, or looking, or possibly being perceived as being, stupid. So I've created this whole method of asking questions that involves letting the other person know that at one time, I did know the answer to my current question. But it's probably getting old. So goal for Week 2: Stop being Ben.

Aside from that, I do feel like each day got a little better. Today I received a Christmas present from a co-worker, a gesture by which I am still so touched. She doesn't know me well, and she certainly should have felt no obligation to buy me a pretty little scarf. But she did, and I'm really grateful for it. It's cliche to say, "It's the thought that counts," but in this instance I feel like the saying very accurately applies.

But enough about work. Let's talk about Zac Efron! You likely already know (or if you don't, you should) that Zac Efron is my guilty pleasure. I love him. And he's only a year and a half younger than me, so it's not even that bad. Anyway, Kate and I had both seen Me and Orson Welles advertised when we saw 17 Again and she informed me last weekend that it was now out but only playing at the Broadway Theater. Apparently, it's not the busiest establishment in Salt Lake on a Wednesday night...And this wasn't just a picture taken at an opportune moment. Kate and I were the only patrons in the theater throughout the entire show. Regardless, it was an enjoyable movie and I really liked seeing Zac Efron in a role like this. (Meaning no basketball dribbling, high-energy dancing, or upbeat singing... Okay, there was a little singing. But not what you'd expect.)

Day One in SLC

I've had a request to write more frequently on my blog. Granted, it's only one request. From the one reader of my blog. But give the people what they want! That's what I always say...

So today marked Day One of my job in Salt Lake. Rather than sleeping in, I woke up at the same time I normally do and just spent longer getting ready. Since I'm at greater odds of seeing someone I know while working in SLC, I figured it's best if I try and cut down on the messy ponytail and bun days that I so often had in Ogden from waking up late. Turns out, I still could have slept in. I got to work 20 minutes early.

After a brief (and I mean brief) orientation by the Clerk of Court, I was told to go shadow one of the clerks on the counter. I watched her file 2--count them, TWO--documents before she decided I should just open up a window and start working. In theory, that should be fine because I've been working as a counter clerk for more than 5 months. But when each filing is done just a little differently than the way you were originally trained, it adds up to a lot of differences. I felt very lost and even more frustrated. By 5 o'clock I still hadn't even been told where the bathrooms were. That's how much I was taught about my new surroundings.

One big positive about the day was how busy it was. I didn't get a chance to leave for lunch until after 1:30, and from the time I got back until we closed it was a steady line of people that reached the door. When you're that busy, you don't have much time to worry about not knowing what you're doing. I guess I'll just figure that all out when people come yelling at me tomorrow.

Enough complaining, though. If I'm being honest, the slight procedural differences between Ogden and Salt Lake will be easily remedied. Plus, I really like having a reserved parking stall. :) Yeah, it's right in a corner of the parking garage by a big post, but so what? I drive a Civic, one of the easiest cars to park. And when I was driving back after lunch, my dad was the car ahead of me in the line into the parking garage. How cool is that? Of course, he had to pay and have his car searched by security while I just waved my cool little access card and drove on through. Oh, and when I disclosed to my supervisor that my dad is an attorney (I need to avoid even the appearance of any conflicts of interest), they all knew who he was. That felt cool, too.

How's this post for stream of consciousness? :) I just re-read it and don't really have the energy to edit. So take it for what it's worth.

When all is said and done, I do have to admit that it's pretty cool I'm already done writing a blog post when normally I'd be walking in the door right about now.

2009...The Year of Goodbyes

It began in June. That month was a whopper, saying goodbye to Kearns where I had coached, Adiel who moved to California, and Matt who left on his mission to Mozambique. In July, I said goodbye to some of my best friends by leaving Zions Bank, and then life started to calm down. I felt settled for once, secure and welcomed, at my job in Ogden. I felt like that's where I was supposed to be. Then my car broke down. My beloved 1992 Honda Civic, boasting 330,000 proudly driven miles, a true friend til the end. With my goodbye to my baby, I said hello to a car payment for the first time in my life, along with the increased car insurance that accompanies full coverage. I soon began feeling like I was working just to pay to get to work.

On a whim I applied for a job at the Matheson Courthouse in Salt Lake. Everyone wants to work downtown, and no one ever gets hired. I had applied for more than 10 jobs at that location before getting an interview. I sat down, nailed the interview, and left feeling confident, praying that the Lord would let me get the job if I was supposed to. A week later I was offered the job and gave my two week's notice to Ogden. This part was not done without difficulty. In 5 short months I had grown very fond of my co-workers, most of them middle-aged women with kids and grandkids. I had felt, on multiple occasions, that some of them were placed in my life specifically by a watchful Heavenly Father. I knew I would miss these new friends, but felt like I couldn't pass up an opportunity to save the time and money that would come with a shorter commute.

Yesterday I said goodbye to the first job that I ever really fell in love with and to the people that graciously taught me so much about my passion--the judiciary. I wept as I drove home, knowing that I never minded the 44 mile commute and was giving it all up for money. I've never been a superficial person, but this feels superficial to me. I gather a small sort of comfort in remembering my prayer when I interviewed--that I would be offered the job if it was what's best for me. Unfortunately, what's best isn't always what's easy. I'm trying not to doubt my decision that will allow me to travel a mere 12 blocks to work on Monday. But sometimes I do.

Goodbyes are always hard, and it just pains me knowing this one was my choice.