The Dark Side of 'Friends'

So I had a week off school. It was Easter Break and I had big plans to work extra hours and write the bulk of my final papers. Instead, I fell head-first into three books: the Breathing series by Rebecca Donovan.

If you follow me on Goodreads, you might have seen that I didn't give these books particularly high ratings. Last night as I was making dinner and missing Evan (the main male character in the books), I started wondering why that's so. I don't really have an answer other than that I got really bugged by the narrator, Emma, in every book. But aside from my personal annoyances, taking this series as a whole, I have to admit that they are masterfully written. You really saw Emma grow up through the three books. You felt her depression. You felt her fall in love. Rebecca Donovan really did an incredible job. I don't know whether I recommend these books or not; they left me mopey and moody all weekend, but I kind of love that.

But that's not actually what I meant to write about.

You see, after I finished the third book I restarted Friends.  I've watched the series countless times, but I couldn't remember what episode I had last watched. So I started over again with the Pilot. Suddenly it hit me: Rachel. Rachel had a daughter named Emma. Emma's mom's name is Rachel. If you've read the Breathing series, you know where I'm going. If you haven't read the series and you think you might want to, stop reading this post now. I'm not going to hold back on the spoilers...

The Breathing books are all about Emma, a girl who was abandoned four years earlier by her mother, Rachel. OH. MY. GOSH. The Breathing series is a story of the sad life of Ross and Rachel's child!!! Of course Rebecca Donovan renamed the other characters! Otherwise it would have been even MORE obvious.

We've always wanted to know what happened to the Friends after the finale. And now I know! So, based on the books, we know Ross and Rachel never got married. We also know that Ross died when Emma was little, and after that, Rachel went off the deep end (well, no surprise there). Rachel becomes an alchie, and she ends up leaving Emma with Emma's uncle...but wait. Ross doesn't have a brother. Of course he doesn't! To protect identities, Rebecca Donovan also changed genders. Emma didn't go live with her father's BROTHER. But instead with his only sibling, his SISTER, MONICA and her husband, Chandler. Jack and Leyla are, obviously, the twins we met at the finale of Season 10.

Now, Friends fans, this part is going to hurt. With the switching genders, I'm not sure if Monica is Carol or if Monica is George. Either way, either Monica or Chandler is super abusive and tries to kill Emma while she lives with them. Whoa.

Then, of course, in the second book, Rachel comes back to us. She's still super hot despite being a little older. Of course, we always knew that would be the case. I mean, look at Jen now.

Of course beautiful, young Jonathan would want to hook up with her. And here's some kind of good news for Rachel: she's still friends with Phoebe (she's just named Shannon in the book). Yeah, you know, Shannon who takes care of Rachel when she's drunk. Shannon that took care of Emma when Rachel was in the hospital. Of course Shannon is Phoebe. (Or maybe her name was Sharon...I don't know. I don't retain details like names when I'm reading.)

So the question on everyone's mind at this point is: where's Joey? I'll tell you. He's still just being Joey. He only makes a brief appearance in these books, and I can't even remember his pretend name. But he shows up at Rachel's poker party and starts hitting on Emma, and that's how I knew it was him.

So...anyway. Did I just spend too much time writing a pointless blog post? Yes. Should that time have been spent on schoolwork? Yes. Do I regret it? Not at all.