In a month I will officially be living in Utah again, and I have mixed feelings. I'll be happy to be around family and no longer have to miss big events in my nieces and nephews' lives. I'll be happy to once again have girls' nights with my sisters and stay way too late at their houses. I'll be happy to have David back as a movie buddy. I'll be happy to live with my parents for awhile, saving money to begin repairing the last three years of financial disaster.
At the same time, moving back to Utah feels like a reversion. That's indicated in the way I say "moving back." I'm worried about giving up on the growth I've worked for since moving away from Utah. I love my family, but I don't always like who I am around them. I like independent Omaha Wendy far better than I like fourth child obnoxious Wendy. Simply put, I have some reservations about moving home.
Nevertheless, the time of my departure is quickly approaching. I've been slowly selling off items I don't want to pack up and shipping off items I've already packed. (If you have unneeded boxes lying around, I'll take them off your hands!) Last week I formally gave notice to my firm of my November departure date, which made reality set in.
When I'm not working or packing, I really do very little else with my time these days. I watch a lot of tv and I don't even feel bad about it. I've had a charmed couple of months where my stress generally stays at the office. I don't miss the constant nagging feeling I had during law school and bar study--that feeling that always surfaced any time I tried to relax, telling me I should be using the time to study and learn. Of course I never want to stop learning and improving, but I'm giving myself a pass for now.